So at church on Sunday I was talking to one of the other Nursery mom's. She was telling me that she and her husband decided long ago, when their 1st kids (now in college) were young, that they would pay their kids $1000.00 if they hadn't kissed anyone by the time they turned 18.
Now at first I thought, that is ridiculous. No teenager will give up kissing for $1000.00, but then she told me that her 2 oldest (daughters) have already collected their $1000.00 and her 3rd (a son) is holding off telling them til June at Graduation. She is pretty sure he will collect his too. She said their daughters have said at different times how glad they were that their parents gave them this offer. They said they really had to stop and think "Is this guy really worth $1000.00?" Apparently the answer was always no.
So here is my question. Is it worth $1000.00 to keep your kids morally clean? I've really got to think about this. I've already talked to Eric about it, we are pondering. I've proposed this idea to Amara and she laughed at me, she said, "$1000.00 isn't worth not kissing", then informed us she'd already kissed a boy. When we inquired who, she told us " None of your business!"
Maybe $2000.00 will make it worth it! HELP!
5 comments:
Amara is hilarious!!!
I think it's a great idea. I don't know if it will fly with my boys, I'm going to bring it up tomorrow!
Morally clean? Oh man, you guys are so cute and Osmondy! We are talking about first base, here, right? "Kissing" isn't some code word for some other deviant act that is too debased for me to even know about, right?
But seriously, I'm gonna try to throw a fly in the ointment here: I'll admit that I can buy into the logic that suggests that the bribe (yeah, go ahead and call it a "reward" -- it's still a bribe) would make Amara think twice before offering a little pucker-up to some skinny, zit-faced loser who only has his mind on all the bases after the first one. And since I love your daughter (even though it's been, like, forever since I've seen you guys -- that needs to change soon, by the way) I like the idea of anything that might keep horny little horn toads away from her.
But let's say she decides that the guy "is like, OMG, totally worth it." Do you really want your daughter's first kiss to be forever tainted by the fact that it cost her $1,000? Talk about a recipe for regret. What happens when he breaks her heart? And worse, what happens if she decides he WAS worth it?
If and when she does kiss someone for the first time, don't you want her to feel like she can come and tell you about it? While I would never think to impugn the honestly or integrity of your daughter, do you really want to give her an extra little incentive to keep a secret from you, especially regarding something that she already knows you'll be disappointed about? This is the time in your daughter's life when it's going to be most important for your lines of communication to be completely free of any obstacles to honesty.
I say keep the $1,000 and use it to send her out, from time to time, with friends you and she both admire and trust, seeding and strengthening friendships with the people that will help her make good decisions about the sorts of things you want her to make good decisions about.
And — I know you're already going to do this, but I'll say it anyway — starting before she reaches that "kissing age," and continuing until she's out of the house, talk to her about what your family believes is appropriate and inappropriate romantic behavior for teenagers. Don't ignore the obvious things that will be going on around her on the assumption that "she already knows what we expect." Remind her often. And explain to her your reasons for doing so.
That may or may not prevent the inevitable smoochiness, but it'll help build a relationship between you and your daughter that will help her make the right decisions for the right reasons.
OK, I'm done channelling Dear Abby now. I love you guys.
What a great idea! We may consider it as our kids approach kissing age. Yikes!
Alright, after much thought and deliberation I have decided that this isn't the best idea. I think like Matt said it is one more thing that the kids could keep from you. Plus we all remember our first kiss and maybe it wasn't with the best person in the world, but it is a great memory non-the-less, and you wouldn't want that tainted with "well that's the night I lost $1000.00". Just be honest with the kids. Tell them the pros and cons of dating and kissing one person and doing that before you are 18. Plus with a strong willed kid like Amara, it would probably make her want to kiss a boy before she was 18, wow she remindes me of ME! We love you and miss you. Bottom line, do what is best for your kids!
If you don't have a current copy of "For The Strength of Youth" in your home, now would be a good time to get it.
You don't even have to listen to the advice of your friends and family.{however Spikes dad has some good ideas and advice. He too may want one of those "Osmondy" publications.}
It is the words of a Prophet and First Presidency. Talks all about that friendship, dating, Morality, choices, honesty, family and much more.
Great for Family Home Evening.
And by the way, "good Luck" that is why we pray for you daily.
You know I am no expert.
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